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the hugs i crave

the kisses that move me

the smiles that make my eyes crinkle

the laugh that makes me feel alive

the hair i run my fingers through when falling asleep

the back that i wrap my arms around

the mouth that smirks like the cat that got the cream

the voice that soothes my frazzled nerves

the hand that encloses mine with strength and tenderness

the chest i rest my head upon to hear the beat

the bottom i cup in intimate moments

the legs i intertwine with mine

they are yours

they all belong to you






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Like purging hell

Violent and uncontrollable

My head explodes

My chest erupts

I feel my kidneys surge

Ambushes me

Attacks me

My eyes just want to close

I fear It and I loathe It

Try to banish It from my life

It’s defiant and underhanded

It thrives on telling me lies

But It is mine

I made It

I own It

Feed It heartache grief and fears

It is the monkey on my back

It is my panic attack