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Toilet etiquette

i need to get something off my chest, and i hate to say it, but it’s a subject most of us don’t like discussing. but that’s ok, because i am the one doing all the talking. it’s about loo’s. you know, dunny, thunderbox, latrine, outhouse, throne, lavatory. toilets, and the common courtesy that comes along with them. now a lot of these will cross the boundaries between home and public toilets, so look at them as you will….

1. if the loo roll is empty, change it
2. if it leaves a skid, scrub it with the toilet brush
3. if there isn’t a toilet brush, paper down first making #2 nul and void (pun intended)
4. if you feel the need to kangaroo it (squat) don’t pee on the seat
5. if you inadvertently pee on the seat, wipe it off
6. if it stinks, spray some de-stink
7. if you don’t have de-stink spray, get some
8. if you don’t have a spare roll of loo paper in the loo, put one in there
9. close the door!
10. if you take your phone in the loo with you, don’t answer it if it rings – no-one wants to hear you grunt and try to hold a conversation at the same time
11. try to pee IN the loo, not on the floor in front, or beside, or up the wall – this one is obviously for the boys
12. if any of you ladies fit into #11, seek medical help!
13. only one person per cubicle
14. if you drop loo paper on the floor, pick it up
15. no eating in the loo