elizabeththebee

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i need to not talk for a little while

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we have a lot going on at our house at the moment. our downstairs bathroom is being renovated, which means we have 5 adults using one bathroom and one loo until it is finished. one of those adults is our builder who also happens to be a dear friend. never the less that is 5 lots of showers, 5 lots of teeth brushing, 5 arses on the toilet….oh and not to mention take a number like the deli queue when the urge does actually hit you.

i spend all day at work talking non stop to people, at people, having people talk at and around me. when i get in my car to drive home i take the opportunity to try to slowly shake off the stresses of the day and leave them before i walk in the house. into my ‘safe’ zone, where the bark of my excited puppies, squawk of my parrots and the gentle banter of my parents envelope me until hubby gets home and we share our days ups and downs.

for the last 8 days though my safe zone has felt like a war zone. there is clutter everywhere……tools, tiles, toilets and vanities sitting in hallways…..we have more power tools than Bunnings right now and most have all been operating simultaneously. the tv isn’t even sacred and i find myself sitting in the bedroom reading, yet not being able to concentrate.

this is when my fight or flight kicks in and i have to watch myself very carefully. the ‘chaos’ and change to my routine plays havoc with my OCD tendencies. the lack of ‘control’ I have over my environment sends me into a jitter, and as I slowly lose control of my surroundings I find the need to go within to hold on to something solid before a panic attack takes over……my sanity.

so i will sit quietly for a little while……in my favourite pyjamas, in my safe bed, spooning a dog and praying for sleep until we start the day all over again…..serenity now!!

 

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